Ok. So Mar-Chu I am your Secret Santa! I made a whole blog thing and then never did anything with it because I was in Poland for a lot of the time. Didn't really think it through. But I wrote you this short Christmas story. Again sorry it isn't longer but I didn't have much time. I hope you enjoy it anyway :)
A Convivial Christmas
March Pathway screamed with delight as she walked into the room. A giant Christmas tree stood in the corner, festooned with streams of tinsel, brightly coloured baubles, and had a little statuette of a mad axe wielding murder on the top. On closer inspection she also found half of a stuffed owl (at least she hoped it was stuffed) hidden behind a cluster of baubles. Which were all gold or red and painted with faces with horrible tortured expressions.
“I’m never letting Mir decorate the tree ever again!” March exclaimed.
Outside the sky was full of snowflakes spiralling gently down, blown hither and thither in the strong breeze. The walls were decked with holly and a bunch of mistletoe hung innocently above the door. March eyed it warily and then quickly backed away telling herself that “it was infested with Nargles”. Most probably.
As March waited for her friends Thalia and Mir to come downstairs she decided to have a quick look at the many presents and packages that had been placed under the tree. One of them in particular caught her eye. It was huge to begin with, a giant box covered in brightly coloured wrapping paper. It also seemed to be moving slightly and March swore that every now and then the box would snort impatiently. And it was addressed to her with love from Mir.
“What’s taking them so long?” March thought. “It’s already three o’clock in the morning!”
Several excited shrieks could be heard from behind the door which suddenly burst open and two blurs zoomed into the room, flailing arms and screaming “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
The blurs slowed down enough for March to make out some faces. It was of course, Thalia and Mir.
Mir was jumping up and down and babbling something that March couldn’t quite hear.
“Mar! Mar! Mar! Can we open the presents already! And then can we get something to eat? I’m staaaarving!”
“Oh and also open my present first! I just know you’ll love it!”
The present gave out a particularly angry snort and Thalia back away cautiously.
“Umm... this present. It isn’t dangerous is it?”
Mir shook her head and tried to smile angelically. Instead she managed a smile that would have made even the little mad axe wielding murder statue want to run as far away as possible.
March slowly approached the box. The box backed away slowly until it hit the wall.
“Oww!” cried the box.
March pulled off the wrapping paper and opened the box. Her jaw dropped.
Mir smiled her crazy smile.
Thalia held her hands over her eyes.
“Do you like it? Its Skulduggery’s long lost brother! A half unicorn that can do elemental and adept magic! And he’s called Clarabelle!”
Indeed the half unicorn did have a collar around his neck with a little metal tag saying “My name is Clarabelle! If lost please DO NOT return me to my owner/brother Skulduggery. I am an incredible pain to be with and he’s tried to get rid of me for years. Yes I may look cute but I really am very annoying!”
March was speechless.
Mir started prancing around the room asking “Do you like him? Do you like him? Do you? Well? Well?”
“Is it safe for me to take my hands off my eyes yet? And I’m wondering. You said he was half unicorn. So what exactly is the other half?
March tore her gaze away from the creature’s sparkly pink hind legs and long silky tail and gulped.
“It appears that is half cannon too.”
Clarabelle swivelled his turret around and snorted again. A few sparks were emitted.
Thalia groaned and peeked at him.
“This is supposed to be cute?”
Mir grinned and nodded.
“You just have to ignore the top half and voila! Cute!”
“But... but it’s monstrous! No wonder Skulduggery never mentioned him. He must be ashamed to have something like that in the family!”
Clarabelle spoke suddenly. “Hey hey hey enough of the insults! I may not be the most aesthetically pleasing view but I am a cancorn! The last of a great and noble race! I still have feelings!
“You can talk?” March wondered. “But how? You don’t even have a mouth!”
“Adept magic remember?” said Mir
“Any other things I should know about it?”
“Oh I nearly forgot!” Mir shouted. “He can SING!”
“Oh please no. Tell me he doesn’t sing. Tell me it’s not true.” she whispered in a haunted voice. “I dread to think what the sound of a cannon singing would be like.”
“Oh it’s dreadful! Absolutely appalling!” Mir whispered back gleefully.
Right on cue Clarabelle burst into song.
“ Siiilent niiight! Hooollllyyyy niiiiiight!” The sound was indescribable. The voice wobbled up and down, cheerfully disregarding such minor things as tune or key. It sounded like the screech of metal against metal, or perhaps the noise of a donkey in a blender.
March covered her ears and yelled above the horrendous racket.
“MIIIIIR! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”
Mir ran out of the room laughing hysterically, March hot on her heels.
Thalia sighed and muttered to herself.
“I wish that this wasn’t a normal Christmas.”