YAY! I'M SO GLAD DEREK CHOSE ME AS ONE OF THE WINNERS.
Valkyrie
groaned, and sat up. "I told you it was a trap," she said.
"No, you said it looked like it was a trap," Skulduggery corrected. "That's completely different."
He helped her up as a door opened behind them and Sadistica Tortura walked through, an unsettling smile on her lips.
"No, you said it looked like it was a trap," Skulduggery corrected. "That's completely different."
He helped her up as a door opened behind them and Sadistica Tortura walked through, an unsettling smile on her lips.
Valkyrie
stared uncomprehendingly. “This is Sadistica Tortura?”
Skulduggery
nodded. “Indeed, this particular specimen of foulness and despicableness goes
by the name of Sadistica Tortura.”
“But
that name sounds really evil and horrifying!”
“To
suit the monstrous depravity that stands before us”
“But
she’s wearing pink.”
“Pink
is the new black these days you know. The very mention of a fuchsia overcoat or
a salmon cravat sends the most brave-hearted soul fleeing to a distant cave
begging for mercy.”
“But
pink hardly conjures up images of ruthlessness and brutality. It just reminds
me of sickeningly cute puppies and rainbows and frolicking in meadows.”
“Well
meadow frolicking aside, I never said that pink was a byword for evil and
terror.” Skulduggery tilted his head inquiringly.
Valkyrie
spluttered. ‘sends the most
brave-hearted soul fleeing to a distant cave begging for mercy’
“Undoubtedly.
They’re fleeing from the dreadful fashion sense of anyone who would consider
wearing a fuchsia overcoat.”
“But
I was expecting... you know... torture or something.”
“The
poor thing will be mentally scarred for life. If you don’t classify salmon
knitwear as torture then I don’t know what is.”
Valkyrie
sighed and changed tack.
“She
looks suspiciously like a faerie. Small, gossamer wings, sparkling eyes and a
toothy smile that is thoroughly unsettling.”
“Undoubtedly
those are all due to the fact that she is a faerie.”
“But
why would a faerie go by the name of Sadistica Tortura?”
“Why
don’t you ask her?”
Valkyrie
turned to the little sparkly figure who was now fluttering about at eyelevel.
“What’s
up with the name, meadow frolicker?”
“Ah,
I see your going with the tactful approach again.”
Valkyrie
scowled and ignored him.
“Oh...
umm... apologies if I’ve caused you any confusion” Sadistica squeaked. “But I
didn’t want to choose the name Sadistica Tortura. I always dreamed of something
sweet and romantic. Doris perhaps.”
Skulduggery
looked on sympathetically.
“But...
my stepmother has a cruel sense of humour and she does enjoy making my life
miserable. As my legal guardian she had the final decision at my naming
ceremony. And she gave me this absolutely ghastly name out of pure malice.”
“Well
you don’t seem to be all that evil.” Valkyrie turned on Skulduggery. “What’s
all this about then? We drove all the way here and then I waited for hours in
the rain whilst you tried to figure out if this was a trap. And now I see that it isn’t a trap after
all?”
“No,
no it merely looks like it’s not a trap.” Skulduggery corrected. “That’s
completely different.
“See
here she comes now.”
A
dark twisted maelstrom with cruel eyes and an unbecoming sneer strode into the
room.
“Hello
stepmother” Sadistica mumbled.
“And
what’s her name?”
“Something
truly spine chilling” whispered Skulduggery.
“Agatha.”
