Island Challenge Thing

Hmm.... well apparently I must rewrite this with out Kal in it.

Challenge One: Washed Ashore

I wake up on the shore of an island, the water from the sea washing over me, going into my ears. My eyes snap open and jump up. Where am I, I think. What is this place?
My clothes are torn and tattered, I’m barefoot. I look forward, and see a giant forest. The trees are thin, but block any sunlight from getting in.
I trudge toward the forest, and before I step in, I hear something behind me. I turn and see--

Kallista Pendragon in a tattered military uniform, alone and shivering on the same beach I had washed up on. As I raised a hand in welcome something dragged me back into a small barely noticeable cavern carved into the cliff face. I screamed in surprise, only to fall silent as something wrapped a tentacle around my face.  I heard the dull thud of someone- presumably Kallista crash face first into the rock face, only metres from the hidden cavern entrance.

“I must go over and see if she’s alright.” I thought. But first I had the tentacle creature to deal with.

I struggled to turn around and face the unknown monster, but it was futile, all I could see was the stormy grey clouds and the frenzied green waves. Satisfied that I was silent, the creature loosened the grip of its tentacle. As I turned around to stare at the creature that was holding me captive I noticed another monster emerging from the ocean depths. It seemed to be heading towards Kallista, who was rolling around on the sand by the sheer cliffs.

“Oh goody! Two monsters to deal with.” I murmured. Through the glimpses of the beast behind me I could make out a giant violin shaped body covered with writhing mass of multiple crimson tentacles.

“I never did like string instruments.”

 Suddenly a different tentacle wrapped itself around my face, a transparent one, with what looked like tiny hairs growing from it. But as this tentacle made contact I realised that these were tiny little stingers like jellyfish. The pain was immense, my whole face burning with spots of red hot agony. A strangled moan slipped from my mouth as something warm trickled down my legs. I had wet myself. I barely noticed the damp patch around my crotch grow; far too distracted with the stinging sensation that was crushing my face- sending tendrils of pure suffering deep into my brain. And as my consciousness started to shut down the only thing I could think of was “LET GO OFF MY FACE!”

Suddenly the pain withdrew as the creature backed away in discomfort. A hole was appearing in one of its tentacles and I realised that it must have brushed against my soiled trousers. The urine appeared to be an irritant, more; it was like some potent acid. “Huh, it really doesn’t like urea, I guess” I muttered and then “I need some new trousers”...

I turned away as the creature dissolved behind me, too disgusted to look. As I made my way to the entrance of the cave I saw Kallista battling with the other sea weed encrusted beast. A smile burst across my face- she was still alive.

“I drowned the fiddle in wee!” I yelled in surprise- the first thing that came into my head.

Kallista turned to look at me and a determined look spread across her face.

I glanced up at the cliff and saw I large boulder balanced precariously on a ledge directly above the monster. It was wobbling crazily; the vibrations from my screams must have unbalanced the finely placed boulder.

Suddenly it teetered and fell onto the creature- squashing it flat.

“That was easy” I heard Kallista mutter as she suddenly keeled over onto the sand.

And even bedraggled, wearing rags, and covered in sand and monster pulp, my love was still beautiful.