Stolen Sorrows

I wrote this poem because I've been thinking a lot about Matthew Shepard who was murdered in Wyoming in 1998 because he was gay. This poem is for him. But it isn't only for him. This poem is for everyone who had their lives taken from them too soon, for everyone who has lost things that are never meant to be stolen. This is a poem for everyone.

Stolen Sorrows

Stolen sorrows, stolen sorrows

Sold and squandered my tomorrows

Hearing the sigh of time slip by

Crawling towards the day I die

I stiffen at the sharp stab of pain

I hear him whisper with disdain

Stolen sorrows, stolen sorrows

Sold and squandered my tomorrows

I dream of a love that dare not speak its name

The disgust of a world that burns with a righteous flame

A black and gleaming, long and jagged scar

A voice so lost, I don’t know where you are

Stolen sorrows, stolen sorrows

Sold and squandered my tomorrows

You were the fool who threw away

The comforts held by yesterday

The barbed metal fence against my back

The never ending crush of fear

The blood that clings to all my face

Except the skin cleansed by my tears

They scream until I cannot hear

Until I cannot see the sky

Then leave me slumped, afraid, alone,

I cannot move, too late to cry

Stolen sorrows, stolen sorrows

Sold and squandered my tomorrows

I never got the chance to look

Or bargain back the days they took 

The Spaces Between

This poem is the result of a quote. It's a really awesome quote, it left me thinking. And then I wrote this. I hope you enjoy.

The Spaces Between

“And then the line was quiet but not dead. I almost felt like he was there in my room with me, but in a way it was better, like I was not in my room and he was not in his, but instead we were together in some invisible and tenuous third space that could only be visited on the phone.” - John Green, The Fault In Our Stars

I love the quiet places

The spaces between worlds

Between people

I travel through the third space

Invisible

Tenuous

Reached only by the phone

A place that is quiet, but not dead

It hums with a constant vitality

Sometimes I hear things

A sharp excited breath

The steady ticking of a clock

Whispers in the winds

I smile the ghost of a smile

I think this is what time sounds like

And I find peace in the empty spaces

The quiet places

I picture beloved faces

And let them trickle away

A moment of silence

Two souls, alone, together

On the edge of a great truth

And then the moment is gone

Whisked away by the onrush of sound

Life continues its conversation

Floods the quiet places

And empty spaces

But I still have the memories

They visit me whilst I sleep

Soon forgotten

But never really lost

Never really there

But real all the same

Blood and Honey

Why are human beings so fascinated with these two substances? Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy :)

Blood and Honey

The searing heat of liquid gold

The ichor of alien veins

The trickle of nectar, imbibed by a bee

The indigo splash of an ink stain

The taste of frustration and salt in tears

The wealth and corruption of oil

The rose scented perfume, released in a squirt

The sweat born of terror or toil

Yet the liquids that enthral us

More than love or money

Is our fascination

With blood and honey

The symbol for family

Life, death and love

Magic and sacrifice

All course through our blood

The integral factor of every ritual

Used to summon gods and raise the dead

Prolongs survival yet life drains with it

Food of vampires, vibrant red

And oh the sweet and cloying honey

A thing of pleasure, wealth and lust

Oozing, sticky, golden, runny

Squeezed from nature’s stinging bust

Healing wounds and rotting teeth

Glazing apples, toast and cake

Drowning insects who fall foul of

A dripping sugary aftertaste

Wine so old it’s brewed in myth

Laughing soup that thinks you’re funny

None compare and none can bear

The deities of blood and honey

Inside Another's Eyes

This poem went in a much more macabre direction than I started out at. Inspired by "Today I'll Sit Still" by Ernesto Trejo. Many thanks to Thalia for bringing the poem to my attention. I hope you enjoy.

Inside Another’s Eyes

Trapped inside another person’s echo

Remembering memories I have never known

With unfamiliar faces

Haunting unfamiliar places

And the strangest of those faces is my own

I want to scale the cavern of my skull

And take my heartbeat softly by surprise

And be the sky inside my mortal eyes

And be the sky inside my mortal eyes

I try to swim the river of my blood

Or whatever liquor courses through these veins

With those ever fizzing bubbles

That embodies all my troubles

Til they burst inside another person’s brain

I want to blow away the dust that settles on my heart

That spluttering chokes it to one last demise

And be the sky inside my tear pricked eyes

And be the sky inside my tear pricked eyes

I want to grow inside myself

 Be impossible to contain

Yet I am restrained

For someone else is me

Someone who doesn’t know how to be

And both of us are unhappy

I want to nagivate the maze of my ribs

Picked clean by scuttling ants and buzzing flies

And be the sky inside my former eyes

And be the sky inside my former eyes

March Fourth

So I know that May 4th is Star Wars Day. But I realised that there is another month that is also a word and that month is March. So I think that today, March 4th, should also be a holiday. A holiday where we tell our family that we love them but tell ourselves we are loved too. A day to make dreams to achieve and to make ourselves better people than the day before. A day to be proud of who we are and let the world know we are proud. A day you may say to March Fourth. I hope you enjoy.

March Fourth

Let today be the day

You March Fourth

The day you try to achieve your dreams

Hold your head up high

Smile

Be proud of who you are

For today is a day

Where no one should loathe you

Just for being you

And I’m sorry if they do

But their words are not true

Today is a day of improvement

Where I desire to aspire

To be just a little better

Than the day before

Today I tell my family

How much I love them

Need them,

Take them for granted

Hope the best for them

Because they mean the world to me

And I count myself lucky

That they feel the same way about me

Today is the day

That I smile a little brighter

Hug a little tighter

Feel happy at a friend’s success

Today is the day I March Fourth

And may you all be there by my side

Because when we are together

We have pride.

Razor Tears

There is too much child abuse in this world. Too many parents raise their children badly when they could raise them well. I don't mean to hurt anyone with this poem, if it upsets you please let me know and I'll take it down.

Razor Tears

You raise a child

Yet raise your hand against them

Berate them for raising Cain

But you won’t raise a finger

To protect them

She tries to please but you raise the roof

You raise your voice

And the sound could raise the dead

But whenever life raises the stakes

You raise an eyebrow

Unwilling to raise your head

And in company you raise awareness

Of the suffering children abroad

You raise a respectable facade

Raise a glass in a toast

To a life well lived

 Your child raises a cake

To try to make you happy

But instead you raise a complaint

Too many raisins

And you raise the pressure

You raise her pain

You raise doubts about her self-worth

But the school play comes along

They raise the curtain

And you are nowhere to be seen

She dreams of raising a dragon

Raising it wild

To raise a flag in her own private shelter

Far away where you cannot raise hell

You cannot raise havoc

Or raise fire

Where she no longer fears you raising your hackles

You have not raised a child

You have razed your child

Razed them to the ground

As you would raze a fortress

Leaving her with razor tears

That cuts her when she cries

And so I have to raise a question

Why?

Forming a Childhood

A little back story. My grandma turned eighty yesterday. And I wrote this poem for her birthday. When I was four or five she always used to tell me stories about a wizard called Mercury and a fairy called Twinkletoes who would solve all the problems of the animals and children and fairyfolk with a magic computer. And these stories were a very formative part of my childhood. And so I wanted to say thank you for teaching me to be kind and hopeful and optomistic. And for giving me a love of reading.

Forming a Childhood

An idea for a tale arose

Of Mercury and Twinkletoes

A wizard and his friend a fairy

Their solving skills were legendary

They always helped the ones in need

With magic, kindness and good deed

 For though the folk were sometimes sad

They’d turn the sad into a glad

Juno the elephant

What was his goal?

To plunge into a volcano

To rescue a troll

And so I hope you see

How much these stories meant to me

These stories in me sparked a greed

A greed to read and read and read

You planted acceptance in my mind

And taught me always to be kind

To show concern for others

And love the world like brothers

An optimistic stance on life

Will combat all and every strife   

And if it seems I cannot cope

To stop and view the world with hope

So thank you grandma for making me

The person who I grew up to be 

I Have Weird Dreams And I Cannot Lie

I thought that I would share this really weird dream I had last night.

So it's Saturday afternoon and I'm in shul (Jewish equivalent of Church) and everyone is gathered together in this side room. And we're having this vote. Apparently we are about to ban people from eating watermelons what with they being the fruit of the devil and all. So all the watermelons in the world are going to be locked up in  this giant golden cage and anyone who eats a watermelon will be put to death. The cage is called Mordor by the way. Because Mordor was written on the cage and somehow it stood for Outlaw the Watermelons or something of a similar statement but I forget how. The letters MOR were on one door and DOR on the other. But the DOR was backwards so we were actually sending all the watermelons to MORROD.

So because we live in a democracy we were having a vote to decide whether to ban watermelons. The vote would be decided by each person standing on one side of the room, the "ban" side and the "don't ban" side. Obviously I went to the "don't ban" side as the whole situation is ridiculous. I told everyone so, "Watermelons are both tasty and thirst quenching." Most people stood on the "don't ban side except for some adults including my mother. But people kept running from one side of the room to the other. After three change overs the vote was final and everyone had ended up on the "don't ban" side. Thank goodness I thought. Common sense has prevailed. But then they pulled back the wall (as far as I know its a solid wall and doesn't move). But they pulled it back anyway to reveal the other main part of the shul and to my horror there were thousnds of Charedi Jews in black hats all standing on the "ban" side. We were totally outnumbered and watermelons had just become illegal.

 Suddenly I found myself outside in the streets of Camden and saw one of my best friends. I told him that watermelons had just been outlawed and he replied "LOL WTF you are the third gay Jew to tell me that this morning."

Then I was back in the shul and all the Charedi Jews were weeping because they had just changed the word of God by making watermelons illegal and so now they had to follow all the other changes to the Old Testament including the preachings of Jesus and we had all become Christians. We all made our way upstairs and suddenly I was on a balcony above everyone else and I was invisible. There were two other people with me (also invsible) and I don't know who they were (well I couldn't see them). But we were on a mission to save the watermelons and go into hiding. There were three balconies and we had to jump to each one. The first jump was easy but we got to the middle balcony and realised the jump to the third one was too great a distance and we would fall and injure ourselves horribly. But we found a solution. Everyone was beneath the balconies and if a person came forward and said something heartwarming and meaningful we could jump and fly down and land safely in their arms. (I have no idea how the three people knew to come forwards as we were invisible but maybe we contacted them telepathically). But one by one my two companions made the leap safely until only I was left. The person who stepped forwards for me was another friend (friend two) and he proclaimed that I was a really great friend and then I yelled back I love you and jumped and by the power of friendship I was saved.

We began to plan our mission to save the watermelons.

Then I woke up.

So that was odd.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2013. Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday Kallie

I'm sorry that this is a day late. But I hope you had a really wonderful birthday. As you probably know by now, Lizzy had a wonderful idea to make a video of different bloggers singing you happy birthday but it didn't work out as we were all singing at different speeds. Here are the videos that Pyro and I made.
I also wrote you a story. Hope you like it.

The Ethereal Holiday Consultant

“HELP! SOMEBODY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS OTHERWORDLY HELP ME!”

Kallista Pendragon sat bolt up in her chair, woken from her slumber by a terrified plea. The sound appeared to be coming from a corner near the ceiling. She gazed up intently at the small glowing rift, where a ghostly hand wiggled its fingers feebly.

Kallista stared at the hand whilst the disembodied voice continued to cry out for help.

“Excuse me!” The voice fell silent. “How exactly am I supposed to help you?”

“If you could just give me a hand and pull me through that would be lovely.”

Kallista clambered on top of the chair and reached out her hand, which passed right through the spectral limb.

“No, no, not an actual hand. A figurative one. You know, pull with your mind.”

Kallista screwed up her face and thought about pulling someone through a crowd. Next she visualised that hand tied to a tractor, pulling someone out of a bog. Then she imagined the TARDIS towing the Earth through the time vortex with some Time-Lord matter-extrapolator beam. One that went vworp and sent out rings of blue light.

With a sickening squelching sound, a small balding portly man came tumbling out of the rift, where he hovered unsettled in front of the surprised girl.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

“I’ll be perfectly fine.” He raised a ghostly hand to his face and whispered “To be honest, I don’t actually know my way around the inter-dimensional network in this country. Took a wrong turning at the wraithway in Detroit and found myself stuck in purgatory. You only just pulled me through the portal in time. The traffic is absolutely dreadful there. Could have been stuck in a jam for years! I’m a tourist really. From England once.”

“Really? Can you do an English accent?” Kallista enquired interested. “Only you don’t sound English.”

“Alright guvnor? Be needing a splotch of tea for elevenses!”

“Where are you really from?”

“Sweden” he muttered sadly. But I always wanted to see England, you know?”

“So why are you here? Who are you?”

The small man cleared his throat and uttered grandly, “I am the substitute Ghost of Christmas Past!”

“Substitute?”

“Yes, I got dragged in as a replacement for the actual Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s off sick. Something terrible I reckon. His ectoplasm looked something awful!”

“Christmas?”

“Indeed.”

“But it’s August...”

“I know. Don’t ask me why, some decision from the high ups. Something about August not having any major holidays and discrimination against under-represented months.”

“So go on then” Kallista encouraged him.

“Oh, yes, the vision!”

“Do you have a television? I’m only a substitute, haven’t quite managed projecting images into thin air yet.”

Kallista pointed to the door. “We’ve one downstairs.”

The substitute or Trevor as he liked to be known, floated along behind her.

Trevor screwed up his eyes and pointed at the TV. Nothing happened. He frowned and then realised that he hadn’t turned it on. Kallista quickly pressed a button on the remote and stared at the image that appeared on the screen.

She appeared to be staring at the inside of the local grocers. A little girl was searching through the apples, testing them for any softness. She gathered a few into a bag and then moved on to potatoes. Kallista stared intently, trying to get a glimpse of the little girl’s face. Suddenly the girl looked around as if someone was looking at her but no one was there.

“Mrs. Dodds!” exclaimed Kallista. “She’s my neighbour. But she’s really old.”

“Indeed we are viewing the past. But… well… I appear to have shown you the wrong past” Trevor mumbled embarrassed. They continued to watch as the young Mrs. Dodds walked up to the counter, laden with produce. She paid and left, the sound of the bell tinkling above her head.

“Umm… that was really interesting.” Kallista tried to sound enthusiastic. “Well done for trying.”

Trevor burst into tears and wailed. “I’m useless” before disappearing with a small pop.

To be continued.

Better Living With Collins and Collins

So hopefully this video will make sense. If you are a nerdfighter then you probably know about the Lizzie Bennett Diaries. If you watch the Lizzie Bennett diares you will know in her latest Q & A video that she linked to the website of Collins and Collins which contains a Better Living video with Maria Lu. Go watch that video before watching this one. The following video is my audition entry.

I hope you enjoy :)

Odrer and Cohas

Please let me know if this poem makes no sense whatsoever, I may have made some typos that ruin the effect. It should still be readable despite the rearrangment. If not then I'll post it in a more readable fashion. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Odrer and Cohas

Sngarte tihng to avecihe

To mkae you bleveie

How we atcaluly pcreevie

The uvinsere

Oredr and caohs are far mroe itrnexmeid

Dpinripg dwon

We can mkae ssnee of choas

Qtiue eliasy

Bilevneig it to be oerdr

Yet trhee is a ssene of snihmoetg odd

Not qutie the way taht it shloud be

But the way taht it cluod be, wolud be

Is

We mkae our oerdr out of the lltite tghnis

The “how” and the “why” and the “who”

The eneecsss and scpeis and siptris

Ahtlguoh as lnog as the bnnniigeg and end saty the smae

The btrih and the detah

The redeaimnr is all yuros

To lvie as you psleae

To angrare as you wlil

And poelpe can sltil usantrednd you

Lvoe you

Eevn if you do seem a bit odd

Uuqine

Sicaepl

Liinvg lfie yuor own way

We d’not look at the leertts

But the wrods

We d’not look at the dedes

But the wlhoe

And terhe is no seerct mgassee

Heddin in the tangels

Jsut an innochreet mlbmue

A haumn vcioe

The oredr is nssnnoee

And the cohas maeks ssene

If you oepn yuor eeys

And yuor mnid

And awylas look for mnianeg

In an iennffidret wolrd

Another Small Step

I am really happy to make this post. This book arrived six days earlier than I was expecting :D

It is another poetry book containing The Elviana Shore.

Here are some pictures.

 

My Dreams Are Simple

I really like this poem. I was in tears by the time I reached the end. Again I'm sharing with you a little piece of my heart. Love is a human right and rights should never be put to a vote. But since they are if anyone lives in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota or Washington and are old enough to vote (or know someone old enough to vote) please vote to give others like me the right to love.

My Dreams Are Simple

My dreams are simple

My dreams are few

So easy to grant

Bring great joy if you do

I want to fall in love

Share our first kiss

Think of him always

Heart bursting with bliss

Get down on one knee

Propose sweetly and gently caress

And cry with laughter

When he says yes

Come the wedding day

Walk down the aisle

I love how his face

Is too small for his smile

My husband for life

My world is now perfect with you

Find a home, settle down

Raise a child or two

Wipe away their tears when they cry

Read them a story

Put them to bed

Sing them to sleep with a lullaby

Watch them grow

Watch them learn

As they explore the unknown

As they go off to uni

And raise children of their own

Then sit by the fire

My head in his lap

Him reading to me

As I begin to nap

 

And after a night of making love

Change the drenched sheets

Hold him close to my heart

Listen to him breathe whilst he sleeps

Grow old together

Look back on a life lived well

And mourn when my love is taken from me

Or me from him

Only time will tell

Yet these dreams remain beyond me

I am destined to remain alone

For my rights are held in chains

By people who want me to atone

“Somebody please think of the children”

“I believe in God and in Jesus”

“Your life would infringe on my religious liberties”

“I love you the way I love murderers”

All of these reasons are given

For why my love must be forbidden

Yet the real reason is to my eternal dismay
I make people uncomfortable by being gay

Use Your Words

Life is all about words. We use them for everything and find them everywhere. Magical wonderful words. This poem expresses merely a fraction of what we do with our words. Enjoy :D

Use Your Words

Words are the most powerful thing we have

We use them to create entire universes

For every book is a world.

And every world contains books.

Containing worlds containing books containing worlds.

And so on in an infinite spiral

Of pages and ink and creation.

Even our own universe began with a word

God said “Let there be light”

And there was light.

Words have a magic of their own

To communicate our thoughts and hopes and feelings

To anyone and everyone from a best friend

To a stranger on the other side of the Earth.

We use our words to express emotions

Anger and love and longing and fear

Voices crying out

To anyone who’ll hear.

We use our words to save lives.

Bringing someone back from the brink of suicide.

Or to push them over the edge

And end it.

To taunt and tease and bully.

To maim and shame and hurt.

We can use them to be cruel

Or kind.

For good or for bad.

For better or for worse.

The greatest advances in technology

All to do with words.

The advent of language, writing, printing,

Radio, television, the internet

Sharing our voices

Spreading them further and further

Into the very depths of space

And the heart and mind and soul.

The pen is mightier than the sword

And even the sword.

Contains the word.

And what are words but the greatest action of them all?

For without our voices

No one would know that action is needed

Prayer.

Words.

Debate.

Words.

Argument.

Words.

Serenade.

Words.

Joke.

Words.

Poetry.

Words.

Singing.

Words.

Words. Words. Words.

We whisper and mumble, reply and express

We roar and we question, query and digress

Interrupt, shout, stutter, convey

We’ve countless ways to articulate “say”

Starting battles

Ending wars

Uniting and dividing

Forever multiplying

Words are magical

Our consciousness and our soul.

Take away my words

I’m no longer whole

Ignoring a person

Cutting them out

No longer interacting

In the flow of words

And what is death

But the final fullstop?

The end of the page.

And those who continue

Their grief and consolation

All expressed through our words

And we remember them

Through their quotations.

History. Science. Politics.

Words upon words upon more words.

If ever asked the question

What is humanity?

And what is the highest pinnacle of our species?

Humanity is a story.

And the greatest thing we own

Are our words.