So the nerdfighters are organising a poetry book! Still trying to decide which poems to submit. Wrote this poem a little while back and forgot to publish it.
I Gave Each Friend
A Word, And In That Word A World
How
easy it is to write for a friend
This
thought strikes me, hard
In
my head and my heart.
My
words are sluggish, my thoughts are rusty
And
my motivation, cries, curled up in a ball
Weeping
at how easy it used to be.
What
greater inspiration, than to write for the joy it elicits
In
a community of fellow authors, poets, children.
In
a web of friends, discovering themselves, through shared loves
Of
books and school and words,
Words
that linked us, from a thousand miles away.
Everything
ends.
Everything
changes.
Life
and time and hurt wore down our precious family.
And
when I look back, I have lenses of nostalgia on my eyes.
That
tinge my thoughts with longing and regret.
And
when my closest friend of all comes into view
They
are tinged with betrayal.
For
a friend I now know only as a ghost,
Talking
to a fiction from twenty years ago.
That
kind, scared girl I know,
She
was living as her past
And
she told the truth at last
And
it hurt.
I
changed, I made new friends.
And
I love them very much.
But
I do not share my words, my thoughts, my heart
Like
I used to.
And
they don’t share theirs with me.
So
my words dissolved with my friends
Scattered
away on the wind that tore away my ties.
And
left me isolated,
Lonely.
Without
a voice.
It’s
hard.
To
shout into the void.
Without
the reassurance of company.
But
the quiet ate away at me,
Turned
from a companion to an abuser.
So
I have to try.
I
hope you can hear me.
