I Have Weird Dreams And I Cannot Lie

I thought that I would share this really weird dream I had last night.

So it's Saturday afternoon and I'm in shul (Jewish equivalent of Church) and everyone is gathered together in this side room. And we're having this vote. Apparently we are about to ban people from eating watermelons what with they being the fruit of the devil and all. So all the watermelons in the world are going to be locked up in  this giant golden cage and anyone who eats a watermelon will be put to death. The cage is called Mordor by the way. Because Mordor was written on the cage and somehow it stood for Outlaw the Watermelons or something of a similar statement but I forget how. The letters MOR were on one door and DOR on the other. But the DOR was backwards so we were actually sending all the watermelons to MORROD.

So because we live in a democracy we were having a vote to decide whether to ban watermelons. The vote would be decided by each person standing on one side of the room, the "ban" side and the "don't ban" side. Obviously I went to the "don't ban" side as the whole situation is ridiculous. I told everyone so, "Watermelons are both tasty and thirst quenching." Most people stood on the "don't ban side except for some adults including my mother. But people kept running from one side of the room to the other. After three change overs the vote was final and everyone had ended up on the "don't ban" side. Thank goodness I thought. Common sense has prevailed. But then they pulled back the wall (as far as I know its a solid wall and doesn't move). But they pulled it back anyway to reveal the other main part of the shul and to my horror there were thousnds of Charedi Jews in black hats all standing on the "ban" side. We were totally outnumbered and watermelons had just become illegal.

 Suddenly I found myself outside in the streets of Camden and saw one of my best friends. I told him that watermelons had just been outlawed and he replied "LOL WTF you are the third gay Jew to tell me that this morning."

Then I was back in the shul and all the Charedi Jews were weeping because they had just changed the word of God by making watermelons illegal and so now they had to follow all the other changes to the Old Testament including the preachings of Jesus and we had all become Christians. We all made our way upstairs and suddenly I was on a balcony above everyone else and I was invisible. There were two other people with me (also invsible) and I don't know who they were (well I couldn't see them). But we were on a mission to save the watermelons and go into hiding. There were three balconies and we had to jump to each one. The first jump was easy but we got to the middle balcony and realised the jump to the third one was too great a distance and we would fall and injure ourselves horribly. But we found a solution. Everyone was beneath the balconies and if a person came forward and said something heartwarming and meaningful we could jump and fly down and land safely in their arms. (I have no idea how the three people knew to come forwards as we were invisible but maybe we contacted them telepathically). But one by one my two companions made the leap safely until only I was left. The person who stepped forwards for me was another friend (friend two) and he proclaimed that I was a really great friend and then I yelled back I love you and jumped and by the power of friendship I was saved.

We began to plan our mission to save the watermelons.

Then I woke up.

So that was odd.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2013. Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday Kallie

I'm sorry that this is a day late. But I hope you had a really wonderful birthday. As you probably know by now, Lizzy had a wonderful idea to make a video of different bloggers singing you happy birthday but it didn't work out as we were all singing at different speeds. Here are the videos that Pyro and I made.
I also wrote you a story. Hope you like it.

The Ethereal Holiday Consultant

“HELP! SOMEBODY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS OTHERWORDLY HELP ME!”

Kallista Pendragon sat bolt up in her chair, woken from her slumber by a terrified plea. The sound appeared to be coming from a corner near the ceiling. She gazed up intently at the small glowing rift, where a ghostly hand wiggled its fingers feebly.

Kallista stared at the hand whilst the disembodied voice continued to cry out for help.

“Excuse me!” The voice fell silent. “How exactly am I supposed to help you?”

“If you could just give me a hand and pull me through that would be lovely.”

Kallista clambered on top of the chair and reached out her hand, which passed right through the spectral limb.

“No, no, not an actual hand. A figurative one. You know, pull with your mind.”

Kallista screwed up her face and thought about pulling someone through a crowd. Next she visualised that hand tied to a tractor, pulling someone out of a bog. Then she imagined the TARDIS towing the Earth through the time vortex with some Time-Lord matter-extrapolator beam. One that went vworp and sent out rings of blue light.

With a sickening squelching sound, a small balding portly man came tumbling out of the rift, where he hovered unsettled in front of the surprised girl.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

“I’ll be perfectly fine.” He raised a ghostly hand to his face and whispered “To be honest, I don’t actually know my way around the inter-dimensional network in this country. Took a wrong turning at the wraithway in Detroit and found myself stuck in purgatory. You only just pulled me through the portal in time. The traffic is absolutely dreadful there. Could have been stuck in a jam for years! I’m a tourist really. From England once.”

“Really? Can you do an English accent?” Kallista enquired interested. “Only you don’t sound English.”

“Alright guvnor? Be needing a splotch of tea for elevenses!”

“Where are you really from?”

“Sweden” he muttered sadly. But I always wanted to see England, you know?”

“So why are you here? Who are you?”

The small man cleared his throat and uttered grandly, “I am the substitute Ghost of Christmas Past!”

“Substitute?”

“Yes, I got dragged in as a replacement for the actual Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s off sick. Something terrible I reckon. His ectoplasm looked something awful!”

“Christmas?”

“Indeed.”

“But it’s August...”

“I know. Don’t ask me why, some decision from the high ups. Something about August not having any major holidays and discrimination against under-represented months.”

“So go on then” Kallista encouraged him.

“Oh, yes, the vision!”

“Do you have a television? I’m only a substitute, haven’t quite managed projecting images into thin air yet.”

Kallista pointed to the door. “We’ve one downstairs.”

The substitute or Trevor as he liked to be known, floated along behind her.

Trevor screwed up his eyes and pointed at the TV. Nothing happened. He frowned and then realised that he hadn’t turned it on. Kallista quickly pressed a button on the remote and stared at the image that appeared on the screen.

She appeared to be staring at the inside of the local grocers. A little girl was searching through the apples, testing them for any softness. She gathered a few into a bag and then moved on to potatoes. Kallista stared intently, trying to get a glimpse of the little girl’s face. Suddenly the girl looked around as if someone was looking at her but no one was there.

“Mrs. Dodds!” exclaimed Kallista. “She’s my neighbour. But she’s really old.”

“Indeed we are viewing the past. But… well… I appear to have shown you the wrong past” Trevor mumbled embarrassed. They continued to watch as the young Mrs. Dodds walked up to the counter, laden with produce. She paid and left, the sound of the bell tinkling above her head.

“Umm… that was really interesting.” Kallista tried to sound enthusiastic. “Well done for trying.”

Trevor burst into tears and wailed. “I’m useless” before disappearing with a small pop.

To be continued.

Better Living With Collins and Collins

So hopefully this video will make sense. If you are a nerdfighter then you probably know about the Lizzie Bennett Diaries. If you watch the Lizzie Bennett diares you will know in her latest Q & A video that she linked to the website of Collins and Collins which contains a Better Living video with Maria Lu. Go watch that video before watching this one. The following video is my audition entry.

I hope you enjoy :)

Odrer and Cohas

Please let me know if this poem makes no sense whatsoever, I may have made some typos that ruin the effect. It should still be readable despite the rearrangment. If not then I'll post it in a more readable fashion. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Odrer and Cohas

Sngarte tihng to avecihe

To mkae you bleveie

How we atcaluly pcreevie

The uvinsere

Oredr and caohs are far mroe itrnexmeid

Dpinripg dwon

We can mkae ssnee of choas

Qtiue eliasy

Bilevneig it to be oerdr

Yet trhee is a ssene of snihmoetg odd

Not qutie the way taht it shloud be

But the way taht it cluod be, wolud be

Is

We mkae our oerdr out of the lltite tghnis

The “how” and the “why” and the “who”

The eneecsss and scpeis and siptris

Ahtlguoh as lnog as the bnnniigeg and end saty the smae

The btrih and the detah

The redeaimnr is all yuros

To lvie as you psleae

To angrare as you wlil

And poelpe can sltil usantrednd you

Lvoe you

Eevn if you do seem a bit odd

Uuqine

Sicaepl

Liinvg lfie yuor own way

We d’not look at the leertts

But the wrods

We d’not look at the dedes

But the wlhoe

And terhe is no seerct mgassee

Heddin in the tangels

Jsut an innochreet mlbmue

A haumn vcioe

The oredr is nssnnoee

And the cohas maeks ssene

If you oepn yuor eeys

And yuor mnid

And awylas look for mnianeg

In an iennffidret wolrd

Another Small Step

I am really happy to make this post. This book arrived six days earlier than I was expecting :D

It is another poetry book containing The Elviana Shore.

Here are some pictures.

 

My Dreams Are Simple

I really like this poem. I was in tears by the time I reached the end. Again I'm sharing with you a little piece of my heart. Love is a human right and rights should never be put to a vote. But since they are if anyone lives in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota or Washington and are old enough to vote (or know someone old enough to vote) please vote to give others like me the right to love.

My Dreams Are Simple

My dreams are simple

My dreams are few

So easy to grant

Bring great joy if you do

I want to fall in love

Share our first kiss

Think of him always

Heart bursting with bliss

Get down on one knee

Propose sweetly and gently caress

And cry with laughter

When he says yes

Come the wedding day

Walk down the aisle

I love how his face

Is too small for his smile

My husband for life

My world is now perfect with you

Find a home, settle down

Raise a child or two

Wipe away their tears when they cry

Read them a story

Put them to bed

Sing them to sleep with a lullaby

Watch them grow

Watch them learn

As they explore the unknown

As they go off to uni

And raise children of their own

Then sit by the fire

My head in his lap

Him reading to me

As I begin to nap

 

And after a night of making love

Change the drenched sheets

Hold him close to my heart

Listen to him breathe whilst he sleeps

Grow old together

Look back on a life lived well

And mourn when my love is taken from me

Or me from him

Only time will tell

Yet these dreams remain beyond me

I am destined to remain alone

For my rights are held in chains

By people who want me to atone

“Somebody please think of the children”

“I believe in God and in Jesus”

“Your life would infringe on my religious liberties”

“I love you the way I love murderers”

All of these reasons are given

For why my love must be forbidden

Yet the real reason is to my eternal dismay
I make people uncomfortable by being gay

Use Your Words

Life is all about words. We use them for everything and find them everywhere. Magical wonderful words. This poem expresses merely a fraction of what we do with our words. Enjoy :D

Use Your Words

Words are the most powerful thing we have

We use them to create entire universes

For every book is a world.

And every world contains books.

Containing worlds containing books containing worlds.

And so on in an infinite spiral

Of pages and ink and creation.

Even our own universe began with a word

God said “Let there be light”

And there was light.

Words have a magic of their own

To communicate our thoughts and hopes and feelings

To anyone and everyone from a best friend

To a stranger on the other side of the Earth.

We use our words to express emotions

Anger and love and longing and fear

Voices crying out

To anyone who’ll hear.

We use our words to save lives.

Bringing someone back from the brink of suicide.

Or to push them over the edge

And end it.

To taunt and tease and bully.

To maim and shame and hurt.

We can use them to be cruel

Or kind.

For good or for bad.

For better or for worse.

The greatest advances in technology

All to do with words.

The advent of language, writing, printing,

Radio, television, the internet

Sharing our voices

Spreading them further and further

Into the very depths of space

And the heart and mind and soul.

The pen is mightier than the sword

And even the sword.

Contains the word.

And what are words but the greatest action of them all?

For without our voices

No one would know that action is needed

Prayer.

Words.

Debate.

Words.

Argument.

Words.

Serenade.

Words.

Joke.

Words.

Poetry.

Words.

Singing.

Words.

Words. Words. Words.

We whisper and mumble, reply and express

We roar and we question, query and digress

Interrupt, shout, stutter, convey

We’ve countless ways to articulate “say”

Starting battles

Ending wars

Uniting and dividing

Forever multiplying

Words are magical

Our consciousness and our soul.

Take away my words

I’m no longer whole

Ignoring a person

Cutting them out

No longer interacting

In the flow of words

And what is death

But the final fullstop?

The end of the page.

And those who continue

Their grief and consolation

All expressed through our words

And we remember them

Through their quotations.

History. Science. Politics.

Words upon words upon more words.

If ever asked the question

What is humanity?

And what is the highest pinnacle of our species?

Humanity is a story.

And the greatest thing we own

Are our words.

Real As Rage

Real as Rage

 

Send entry in

Waiting

Frustrating

I never win

What’s the big deal?

Too abstract

Surreal

People want to relate

Facts not fantasy

Write about something that’s real

Then you’ve appeal

Be direct

Well I can’t get more direct than this

Hey you! Yes you!

I’ve a message to share

I don’t care

I’ll write what I like

Imagination

Creation

Whole new worlds

Don’t need to address the situation

In some war torn poverty struck nation

Facing devastation

Watch me soar

Watch me roar

On some alien shore

Characters galore

And I’ve plenty more

Where that came from.

Please appreciate

Try to relate

The message is there

If you want it to be

You see

My poetry is what you make it

How you shape it and take it

I’m letting you know how I feel

Hope that it’s real enough

For your anti-fiction addiction

But enough of my rage

I’m reaching the end of the page

Will probably end it

Now.

Oh The Places You'll Go

Books are so amazing. Hope you enjoy the poem.

Oh The Places You’ll Go

I read my way through stories

Which saturate my soul

And I long that I could be there

Through those magic lands I’d stroll

I’d love to see the Isle of Berk

In the Barbaric Archipelago

Where Vikings sang and dragons flew

Through skies I’m sure I’d know

Or Hogwarts Castle shining bright

Against the backdrop of the night

And stare up at lake sodden stars

And point at light blue flying cars

Or walk along the great stone Wall

With talking cats and living Dead

Whilst 1920s England doth reside

Upon the other side

Through Ancient Rome

With kid detectives

Or the ruins of London

With zombies infective

Great cities trundle

Through muddy wastes

Pursued by a girl with

A ruined face

Twelve year old genius

Almost starts a war

With the race of fairies

Beneath the floor

Seven demesnes

Seven Trustees

Combined form the House

Ruled with seven keys

A million fictions

I long to explore

When I no longer watch

But step through a door

Eternal Dreams

So I wondered if I could capture the essence of a dream in a poem. Also I haven't written anyone a poem in months and months so Jaffa, this poem is for you. I hope you enjoy!

Eternal Dreams

In dreams of dreams eternal

A constant fantasy

Lost in a land half waking

And all the world a dream

In wistful worlds so weary

Dominions drowning dreary

In endless echelons eerie

A silent ceaseless scream

A girl by name of Jaffa

Set fire to the rain

Drifting through the aether

She knows not, what is pain

She knows not, what is panic,

She knows not, what is rue

She knows not whence she came from

Except for a teardrop blue

A man by name of Morbid

Is seeking for multiple things

His face is masked with feathers

That reptilian autumn brings

He longs to share his memories

He yearns to share his soul

And a teardrop blue is leaking

From the half he calls a whole

Amidst a background silver

Tendrils of poisonous light

Entwine the two together

And banish the tender night

They fuse to make one being

The lost who became the found

And Jaffa Morbid rushes forth

To slowly sink a marmalade North

Into the wraithlike ground

Every Footstep Equals Death

Yeah, like, we're all murderers dude! Of billions of invisible creatures! Maaaaan.

Enjoy :P

Every Footstep Equals Death

Every footstep that I take

Every time I close my eyes

Every breath that leaves my lungs

An unseen crowd of creatures dies

A walking talking death machine

Of countless animalcules

Single celled

Not long for this world

My every action causes hell

Perishing, writhing

No hope of surviving

The invisible swarm

I deform

Bodies still warm

So suddenly I’m made aware

That murder flows from every breath

Where every heartbeat drowns their souls

And every footstep equals death

Coming Out

So it's been about four and a half months since I came out. This poem is really personal yet I hope it still resonates with you. This is me sharing a little piece of my heart. I hope you enjoy.

Coming Out 

Have to try

Start to cry

Constantly living my life as a lie

Fearing rejection

Deepest dejection

No longer the child who they view as perfection

Closest relations

Crushed expectations

Death knell to hopes of wedding invitations

Love me?

Shove me?

Never heard of me?

 

Go burn in hell

Go rot in a cell

You ne’er-do-well

Searching for signs of dismay

Thoughts in disarray

Hardest four words to say

Mum, dad I’m gay

“Hush dear, we know. It’s okay.”

Conflicting Emotions

Hope you enjoy this. Language can be really weird sometimes.

Conflicting Emotions

Laugh with sorrow

Strut with fear

Blush in arrogance

Comfort severe

Snarl with love

And kiss with hate

Hug with reluctance

And despair with faith

All so unthinkable

To soothe with distress

So why do people cry

With happiness?

The Path and The Walker

This is a poem that I wrote months ago and then promptly lost. Now that it is once again found I decided to post it. Enjoy!

The Path and The Walker

I don’t chose the things I cry about

That doesn’t make me heartless

When I can’t shed a tear

For that small lifeless deer

That left you frozen in grief and darkness

I don’t chose the things I laugh about

That doesn’t make me a bore

When I barely smile

At that joke ‘bout the Nile

That left you rolling on the floor

And I don’t chose what I live to love

But I’m glad that they chose me

For with an open mind and a brimming heart

I’m swept away the moment I start

Each new discovery brings irrevocable change

By dramatically increasing the awesome

Dumbledore, Dobby and poor little Rue

Stephie Erlich from Doctor Who

Each of their deaths had me sobbing and sobbing

For minutes or hours or days

Yet give me Fred Weasley or Kenspeckle Grouse

Or Ianto or The Fault In Our Stars

And I’ve nothing, I’ve nothing, I’ve nothing, I’ve nothing

For the infinity that was ours

Good Morning Voldemort

OK. So the other poem is going to have to wait. The following arose during school today and I had to share it with you guys. The following song is a parody of Good Morning Baltimore from Hairspray and is sung by Bellatrix Lestrange. I hope some time in the future to turn this into a video but hopefully you'll know the tune (if not then youtube it). Enjoy!

Good Morning Voldemort

Oh, oh, oh

Dearest Dark Lord

I just have to applaud your treachery

Oh, oh, oh

Hungry for more than

Your supple snake

Your thirteen inch wand

You’ve murdered and maimed

He Who Must Not Be Named

Raining down chaos from

High above

Oh, oh, my

Ecstasy grows

At your absolute

Lack of a nose

Good morning Voldemort

You’re the downfall of Gryffindor

Love the way that you split your soul

Seven parts to a former whole

Good morning Voldemort

May you never be mortal once more

I love your depravity

Voldemort and me

Oh, oh oh,

Your red eyed stare

Is beyond compare in every way

Oh, oh oh,

 I’ve got my Dark Mark upon my arm

The pain’s like a charm

When you speak Parseltounge

The hiss from your lungs

Seems to say “Bella I love you too”

So, oh, oh,

 Don’t hold me back

Azkaban I escaped just for you

Good morning Voldemort

I would kill that fool Dumbledore

Snape is nothing, a worthless tool

Worst Headmaster of Hogwarts School

Good morning Voldemort

Even  the mighty Dementors implore

To succumb to your mastery

Voldemort and me

I know every curse, I know every jinx

I know he's a Horcrux. I'm not. That stinks.

I cannot wait for our life to begin

I cannot wait for you to Slytherin

You too Slytherins  

So, Oh, Oh

Give me a chance

I can kill at a glance, be a Death Eater

I’ll be the

Best of the best, just give your commands

And I’ll do the rest

 My relief from our struggles

Is torturing muggles

Whilst yelling “The Potter boy’s got to go!”

Oh, oh, oh

Don’t make me wait

One more moment to say crucio

Good moaning, good moaning

Waiting to say crucio

I love you Voldemort

The Longbottoms fell to the floor

My love for you is the sort that blinds

As I watched them both lose their minds

I promise Voldemort

I’ll be by your side for the whole of this war
I'll murder that house elf Dobby

For that is my destiny

Voldemort and me

We’ll make our world pure (mudblood free)

Voldemort and me

He’ll stroke my face with Nagini

Voldemort and me